CrispAds Blog Ads

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

My First Hate Mail!!

Okay. So, This was actually a comment on my last entry, but I have all the comments emailed to me. So, I am counting this as hate mail and it has made my week! This masterpiece was sent to me by Ssssteve, who actually has his own blog here. So without any further ado, here is the first (and hopefully not the last) piece of mail from a dense, hypocritical, mongoloid who has no idea what he is talking about. As Walter Sobchak would say, "You are out of your fucking element, Ssssteve."



"He doesn't need to inform you that he shot someone. Did they wait 24 hrs to get him medical attention? Nope. The only people that needed to be told were the authorities and this guys family. And last I checked you were neither. And neither was I. Vice president Cheney did nothing wrong and he is not screwing up this country! He is the vice president Get over it! And the part you wrote on Christianity was wrong and you should be ashamed. Stop painting every one with a broad brush. I don't sexually assault little boys. No one in the church I go to has either. My dad is the pastor he has not sexually abused any one. And I am not for the Death Penalty, there is another spot where your wrong. Should someone pay for the crimes they commit? Why yes! Should we take a life for a life? No. Is there provision in the Bible for defending your country? I believe so. Keep trying though."


I have bolded everything that is wrong with what you said. I feel that this graphic representation really attests to your lack of general intelligence. First, let's start with this part:

The only people that needed to be told were the authorities and this guys family.

I have a quick question for you ssssteve. You realize that this is the Vice-President of The United States of America we are talking about here, right? He is a pretty important person, you know? And you realize that he SHOT A MAN IN THE FACE AND HEART, right? Where I come from, that is pretty big news. He is obligated to tell the press, his superior, and the American people. That is why everyone was so mad that he waited 24 hours to tell anybody about the incident. The delay made it look like he was trying to cover it up.


Vice president Cheney did nothing wrong

Let me repeat something because I don't think it sunk in: DICK CHENEY SHOT SOMEBODY IN THE FACE AND HEART! What kind of Christian are you??? How do you get off saying Dick Cheney did nothing wrong when he, himself, says that he did something wrong? Are you really that dense?

Do you wanna know what it feels like to get shot in the face? Okay. Here's what you do. Heat up a wire hanger until it is bright orange. Now hold it to your face. You feel that burning sensation? Now imagine that all over your face and chest for several hours straight.


he is not screwing up this country!

In order to give this part what it deserves I would have to devote 2 to 3 pages to it, but I don't want to do that. Instead, I will offer you a few facts:

Cheney advocated a loophole in a piece of anti-torture legislation.

When Bush-Cheney were elected to office there was a $236.4 Billion surplus. In 2004, the trade deficit was over $600 billion. How do you blow almost a trillion dollars in only 5 years?

Cheney was the root of the cause in the CIA leak of Valerie Plume's Identity

Cheny played a big role in sending this nation to war on false pretenses.




The list goes on, but I do not wish for this to be too long. Next:


And the part you wrote on Christianity was wrong and you should be ashamed.

Let me ask you another question Ssssteve: Do you know what satire is? I have a feeling you don't. From what I can tell, you are most likely a man in his mid-30s who is in a failing marriage, but is so blind to the fact that they routinely watch Desparate Housewives alone while your wife goes out to the local bar to pick-up her next southern yokel to fulfill her nymphomanian desires. So I will enlighten you. Satire is a work that blends a critical attitude with humor and wit as well as with the intention of improving human institutions or humanity. While I admit that I am no Jonathan Swift, surely you can see the point of my piece on christianity and religion in general. I wrote it in order to let everybody know that every single Christian molests small boys. Not only that, but, also I felt like it was my duty to tell people that the real Pope is not named Benedict, but is actually Michael Jackson. The world has a right to know Ssssteve.

I don't sexually assault little boys.

If you don't sexually assault little boys, then you aren't a true Christian. Then again, I can only assume that the extra S's in your name are there because of your homosexual lisp. So, perhaps this statement was a lie and you really are a true Christian.

No one in the church I go to has either.

How do you know???


My dad is the pastor he has not sexually abused any one.

So, according to the hierarchy, your dad must just be a deacon then, right? Next time you see him ask him if he has acted on any of those impure thoughts about little Timmy yet, ok??


And I am not for the Death Penalty, there is another spot where your wrong.

When did I ever say you, in particular, were for the death penalty? One of the reasons why what I wrote is humorous is because it is a completely outrageous generalization. I know that not all Christians are for the death penalty. Some of those child-raping, nation-building, jew-killing bastards know that the death penalty is like letting a criminal off the hook. All of those Christians believe that the criminals should rot in jail for life.

Just so you know, I didn't only make generalizations about the Christian religion either. I made generalizations about the other ones too. For example, "If they [Hindus] see a cow then they kill it, rape it, and eat it raw." I know that some Hindus like their cows cooked medium-well, but if I said that, then it would lose its comedic value.


Should we take a life for a life? No.

Damn straight we should take a life for a life. And we should take a shot in the face for a shot in the face too! The correct thing for Cheney to do would be to tell his friend to shoot him in the face. That would show his dedication for the philosophy he has used in the war on terror. The terrorists killed Americans and we will kill terrorists! Cheney shoots someone in the face and he gets shot in the face! In fact, if Cheney does not get shot in the face, then the terrorists win!


Is there provision in the Bible for defending your country? I believe so. Keep trying though.

Who the hell cares if there is a provision in a story written 2000 years ago for defending your country. Since when should a fictional story govern America's foreign policy?? You are an idiot.





Ssssteve, what you wrote, although unintentionally entertaining, made you look like a mildly retarded jackolope. Feel free to send me some more hate mail though because I could always use some more material for my website. That goes for anyone else as well.

thosegoldfishes@gmail.com

33 Comments:

Anonymous Unamused said...

You got one thing right - you're no Jonathan Swift. Maybe you ought to stick with subjects like cow genitals; your audience seems to like that more than your long, ignorant diatribes.

10:23 PM  
Blogger Ssssteve said...

I don't know what to say. Somebody somewhere must have hurt you very deeply. When I commented on your post I never got personal. Yet that is what you went right to. Your sad really! my family called me and wanted to know what I was going to do. At first I was pretty upset. But as I thought about it I decided that you are just a kid. 19 years. You haven't even started your life yet. Someday you will grow up. This was not hate mail. What it was, was a chance for you personally attack someone and their family whom you do not know! I am sorry your life sucks so much that you lash out with such hate and venom. I will tell you this though, someday you will see and understand what I am talking about. I say this with a clear heart and soul. I love you and will pray for you daily. I pray that God will somehow reach you and someone will show you God's love!

11:13 PM  
Blogger Pinhead said...

Amazing to hear a New Yorker slam the administration that has kept him safe for the past 4 years....Why dont you take a walk down memory lane a few blocks from Wall Street, coulda been you buried beneath the concrete!

12:13 AM  
Blogger Uber said...

Aw Ssssteve (notice how I took time to type all of the Sssss instead of being lazy like usual? B'cuz I like ya, that's right lol),
you're going to run into all kinds on the internet. With some people it's like getting behind the wheel of a car, it's like they think they're inhuman and don't have to even pretend to be human when hiding behind a computer. I'm not sure if people show their true colors when they do this kind of thing or if it encourages them to be more hateful and stupid than usual but either way...it's on them not on you. This is why I never comment on lefty blogs (well, til now anyhow). They're lucky enough I even bother to read any of their BS and give them the hit (which I wouldn't have if you hadn't posted a link). I suggest you take the link down and pretend they don't exist.

Works for me! :)

1:35 AM  
Anonymous JollyRoger said...

"Amazing to hear a New Yorker slam the administration that has kept him safe for the past 4 years....Why dont you take a walk down memory lane a few blocks from Wall Street, coulda been you buried beneath the concrete!"

HAHAHAHAHAHA...... amazing how these worshippers don't seem to realize that soon enough, their Lord will have racked up more American bodies than Osama managed to get.

Yeah, the fact that "tur" incidents have roughly doubled every year since 2001 proves the excellence of the Chimperor's policies as well.

Osama, we really are safer now that..... oh shit, that's right.

3:07 AM  
Blogger thosegoldfishes said...

Sssteve if you must know...

I don't write to personally attack people; I write to entertain. There is two ways I entertain:

1.) People like You and Unamused don't see the humor in what I write and then spend over an hour straight reading my site (yes, that is you Unamused). I find Unamused's name rather ironic because I actually amused him for an hour and fifiteen minutes last night as he read my site.

2.) People like jollyroger and some people that have yet to comment see the humor in my writing and laugh. Sometimes they laugh hysterically.



P.S. I am 18 and I have been a Roman Catholic all 18 of those years. In fact, tomorrow I am the lector for the mass. You don't have to pray for me and my life; I will pray for yours though.

9:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I personally found all of this to be hilarious. Nice work sean!


"Damn straight we should take a life for a life. And we should take a shot in the face for a shot in the face too! The correct thing for Cheney to do would be to tell his friend to shoot him in the face. That would show his dedication for the philosophy he has used in the war on terror. The terrorists killed Americans and we will kill terrorists! Cheney shoots someone in the face and he gets shot in the face! In fact, if Cheney does not get shot in the face, then the terrorists win!"

9:17 AM  
Blogger wrecksE said...

Looks like somebody missed their happy pills. I thought satire was supposed to somewhat amusing...
I think Dick Cheney should hold a press release every time he goes to the bathroom. Its my right to know...

1:21 PM  
Anonymous JollyRoger said...

I will give you this-when Crooked Lip's been drinking, his "aim" probably sucks in the bathroom, too.

I'm glad I don't have to clean it, is all I can say....

2:39 AM  
Anonymous JebTexas said...

No WMDs, Selfless????? WTF? He used them, he had them.

You posted on FMRagTops:

... the links to terrorists and the claims that Iraq had WMDs have all been categorically disproven.


Why are you ignoring the fact that Saddam used WMDs? Do you know how easily war gas is produced at fertilizer plants? Or, are you another person who refuses to believe anything that doen't fit in with your world view? You would fit right in with most of the left in America, but going through life with blinders on is a waste. With intelligent discourse, we can learn and grow. Unfortunately, most leftards refuse to see ANYTHING but what they already believe to be true. Show me that all the news reports on Saddam gassing his own were falsified, and I'll believe he had no WMDs. Otherwise, get a rant that is at least non-falsifiable.

JebTexasLHB@netscape.net

3:44 PM  
Blogger thosegoldfishes said...

Well Jebtexas,


Since you asked nicely, I will oblige.

http://www.nytimes.com/2003/01/31/opinion/31PELL.html?ex=1140670800&en=a539c05d12f3bd34&ei=5070


You need to register with the NY Times, but it is free.



If you don't feel like registering, then I will provide key quotes:

"But the truth is, all we know for certain is that Kurds were bombarded with poison gas that day at Halabja. We cannot say with any certainty that Iraqi chemical weapons killed the Kurds. This is not the only distortion in the Halabja story."

"This much about the gassing at Halabja we undoubtedly know: it came about in the course of a battle between Iraqis and Iranians. Iraq used chemical weapons to try to kill Iranians who had seized the town, which is in northern Iraq not far from the Iranian border. The Kurdish civilians who died had the misfortune to be caught up in that exchange. But they were not Iraq's main target.

And the story gets murkier: immediately after the battle the United States Defense Intelligence Agency investigated and produced a classified report, which it circulated within the intelligence community on a need-to-know basis. That study asserted that it was Iranian gas that killed the Kurds, not Iraqi gas."


The article goes on to say that by controlling Iraq, not only will we control their huge oil supply, but also their rivers and water, which would be even more profitable.

Thus, the Bush Administration simply lied to the American people in order to score a huge profit.

4:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Selfless, Cold and Composed......Wow I am in awe. Did you come up with that all by yourself or did Jolly the Butt Ranger, I mean Roger, help you?

8:58 PM  
Blogger Swany said...

Cheney could shoot 100 people and some of the whacked out righties wouldn't get it. I find there comments quite amusing, I get a lot of them on my blog. They attack the messenger rather than the message, just like unamused. Unamused is a duschebag, plain and simple, let's call a spade a spade.

The facts are on Cheney SHOT a guy in the face, he didn't pepper him, he SHOT him. Now they want to outsource our security to make a buck. If there were a vote in the Senate today it would be 98-2 against Bush's plan to sell our security.

-Swany www.areavoices.com/commonsense

1:40 AM  
Anonymous Jump said...

It is interesting that those who don't feel it is our right to know when a Vice President shoots someone had no problem demanding all the information they could get their hands on regarding a past President's personal sex life. Hmmmm, A very uncommon and dangerous act of nearly killing someone vs. a very common and widely accepted act of having a sex life. Which is more important for this country to know more about?

8:02 AM  
Anonymous Jump said...

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention... the fact that Cheney was hunting without the proper licenses is just unbelievable. It just never ceases to amaze me how this administration seems to think that they are above the law.

8:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sean,
You're not taking any tough classes are you?

5:48 PM  
Blogger thosegoldfishes said...

Well anonymous,

I don't see what that has to do with anything, but I take all of the hardest classes my school offers.

10:04 PM  
Blogger Jenn of the Jungle said...

People don't get it. My blog is the exact opposite of yours politically, but we both write what we want when we want to.

Sssssteve, needs to chill. People need to stop taking things so seriously, if they do, they shouldn't leave comments if they don't want their feewings hurt.

To swany, it's DOUCHEBAG!!!! Geezus, if you're going to insult someone at least spell the insult correctly, douchebag.

Oh, and Cheney didn't SHOOT him as opposed to peppering him, the guy was definately peppered. Unlike you, I actually watched and listened to the guy when he left the hospital. I was an accident, pure and simple. Get over it.

Why don't you libbies take some time to focus on a solid plan for your party, instead of wasting time whining about Cheney and his shooting accident.

And Jolly, old man, though I am an athiest, so my belief is that the "good lord" as you put it has not possibly racked up sh*t, because he doesn't exist. Osama on the other hand has a load of blood on his hands, blood of your countrymen.

Ta Ta.

3:20 PM  
Blogger thosegoldfishes said...

Jenn, out of everyone who has commented on my blog, you are probably the most hypocritical.

You say that Cheney didn't shoot the man; he PEPPERED him. Do you even know the meaning of the word peppered??

To shower with or as if with small missiles.

You can call it shot. You can call it peppered. You can call it showered with hundreds of tiny missiles. The fact is that Cheney had a big, powerful gun; he squeezed the trigger; and the projectiles hit a man in the face and heart.

I can tell that you are a republican because you used the word "peppered." Using that word makes the situation not sound as bad as it was, even though some might say that the actual deffinition of peppered is actually worse than that of "shot."

Secondly, you say that the Liberals should quit wasting their time making fun of Cheney and organize their party. If you knew anything about politics and the reform cycle, then you would know that since the Liberal party is a 3rd party, there is not much use in trying to organize it to a level like that of the main parties. Third parties are meant to bring issues that the main parties aren't touching on to the attention of the public. The best way to do that is through shows like The Daily Show and blogs like mine.

You claim that "people don't get it," when it's you that doesn't get it. The world would have been better off if your mother had chosen abortion.

4:02 PM  
Blogger Jenn of the Jungle said...

1) I know you are a mere child, so I'll make allowances. Do you even know the definition of hypocritical? How is what I posted hypocritical?

2) Yes, as in,” Cheney’s hunting buddy was ACCIDENTALLY peppered with buckshot."

I personally am not a huge Cheney fan, and abhor hunting, so frankly the whole thing in my opinion should never have happened in the first place. But, take it from the guy who was "shot", it was an accident, get over it.

You can tell I'm a Republican, because I am one, not by my parlance.

3) I'm sorry let me make my distinction a bit clearer for you: Liberal Democrats. Hence the "Democrats Suck" button. I don't need politics lessons from a kid. But thanks.

4) Oh, I get it all right.LOL. Cute. You're pretty funny. I love how your type always has to resort to the Moms. Can't make an argument without involving the moms.

5:08 PM  
Blogger thosegoldfishes said...

Don't use that bullshit "I am older than you, so I am smarter than you." argument on me. We all know it is not true. Take this for example:

John Kerry is about 3 years older than President Bush. We all know that Bush functions at a level just a smidgeon above the mentally handicapped, but the sad thing is that Kerry couldn't even beat him in the Presidential race. With all the potential ammunition Kerry had, he still lost. The point: Bush is smarter than Kerry, but younger.

Also, I am sorry I didn't elaborate on the accusation of you being a hypocrite. You told everybody to stop taking it so seriously and then proceeded to do exactly what they did: criticized my post and tried argue your point.

Next, who the fuck cares if it was an accident?? Any other person (besides the President) would have been charged with assault with a deadly wepeon and served jail time.

Thirdly, I agree. Liberal democrats are worse than republicans. They need to get their heads out of their asses pretty soon or we will suffer through 4 more years of terror.

Lastly, My type doesn't always resort to moms. My type occasionally resorts to moms because my type wants to entertain their readers. Not everybody can read a political argument without falling asleep. I try to add something for everyone when I write. More to the point, however, is the fact that the comment wasn't about your mom. It was about you. It was saying that the world would be a better place if you weren't in existence.

6:48 PM  
Blogger Jenn of the Jungle said...

I never said I was smarter. But kid, the facts are facts; most people learn with age. I did. I was a frickin' liberal from hell when I was your age. With age I learned.

As for the John/George argument. Lame, tired and overhashed. I think I read somewhere that they actually had about the same grades in school. Whatever.

Thanks for the elaboration. You see, I am not taking this seriously. The only thing serious here is my boredom. But, I'll admit, you do make me chuckle.

As for,"Next, who the fuck cares if it was an accident?? Any other person would have been charged with assault with a deadly wepeon and served jail time."

No, actually, buckshot incidents happen all the time in the hunting world....they rule them accidents when they are. Don't worry, with age you'll learn these things.

As for the world being a better place without my existance.... maybe, but do you have any documented truth of that. I'd reckon my family would be sad. The various volunteer organizations I work with would miss me.....

My point being that your type resorts to the "mom's" and "die!!!" mentality really quick.

If you'd have actually read my first post, you'd see I was agreeing with you, that people need to chill, and then you went all catty mom and abortions on me. It's cool. Like I say too often, WHATEVER. : )

Ta ra.

8:14 PM  
Blogger thosegoldfishes said...

I hope that I don't end up spouting off lies as I get older.

I also hope that I don't end up not being able to see the point to anything I read when I get older.


I want you to know that, to my knowledge, have I ever said a "Your mom" joke, nor have I told anyone to die on my blog. I may have said that someone should commit suicide and I might have said the world would be better if someone didn't exist. But, the thing you don't get is that this blog is part politics and part entertainment. I try to keep it more entertainment than political, but it is hard to do that.

You may say that type of humor is crude and unfunny, but a lot of people who read my blog think it is funny. So, I put it in there. I also try to use a variety of other forms of humor to catch a variety of people's interests.

For the most part, if I say something to someone that is a personal insult, it is meant to be funny.


The only exception is in your case. I think you should die. Seriously. Go make like a deer in traffic. Your mom told me that she agrees last night as I was leaving her room. DIE! DIE! DIE! Take a meat cleaver and chop off your extremities. Pepper yourself in the face with a shotgun.

(On a side note, I just realized the irony of you saying that Chaney didn't shoot a man; he peppered him, when he was using a SHOTgun.)

Anyway, you should really go die now because that is what I have to resort to: Telling you to die. I can't make any other coherent arguments other than that. Just die.


Murderingly yours,

Sean

8:33 PM  
Blogger Jenn of the Jungle said...

LOL. I take back what I said earlier. You're not funny. You just think you are.

What is that old saying....."A legend in his own mind".

There's sarcasm, wit, and humor. You lack these three important steps in your desire to achieve witty repartee.

My mom; she's dead, so I don't know who's bedroom you were leaving last night, but I'm sure the bucks you left on the nightstand will suffice. Girl probably needed payment after playing with your sorry ass. She'll need it to treat the crabs you gave her. : )

Don't worry about it kid, you're right about at least one thing: "I{you} can't make any other coherent arguments other than that." I couldn't have said it better myself.

Isn't it nap time for you?

Yawn.....

9:17 PM  
Blogger thosegoldfishes said...

You just don't get it do you?


I am done. You aren't worth it.

9:32 PM  
Blogger Jenn of the Jungle said...

Word.

10:10 PM  
Blogger Byrdie said...

P.S. I am 18 and I have been a Roman Catholic all 18 of those years. In fact, tomorrow I am the lector for the mass. You don't have to pray for me and my life; I will pray for yours though.......

Maybe you should practice what you preach(lecture).

And I would think you could find someone or something else to write about to "entertain" people.Something more stimulating that this garbage.Go deep in your mind and write a fictional story.Not one that points out a fellow christian blogger.You have a right to your opinion.But not that of someone you do not TOTALLY know.

2:37 AM  
Blogger thosegoldfishes said...

Maybe you should practice what you preach

You have a right to your opinion.But not that of someone you do not TOTALLY know."





Maybe you should practice what you preach.


And I am writing a fictional story. It's on my other blog.

5:28 PM  
Anonymous The1exile said...

Lol, this was hilarious. I'm just sorry some people can't see the humour in it.

9:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is very interesting site... » »

3:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Today is my lucky day :)
Apple is giving review copies of iPad to 100 lucky person. Go to http://bit.ly/d9QOON and apply for it.

11:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i truly enjoy your writing choice, very interesting,
don't give up and also keep writing for the simple reason that it just simply nicely to read it,
looking forward to look at more of your stories, enjoy your day :)

7:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry for my bad english. Thank you so much for your good post. Your post helped me in my college assignment, If you can provide me more details please email me.

12:01 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home